Ms.Nothing

churchofsterek:

gallifreyslocked:

when i was in year 5, i did a speech on clumsiness for my school’s public speaking contest and to be clever, i tripped on my way to the stage dropping my note cards all over the place, but then i pulled the real ones out of my pocket saying ‘if you’re going to be clumsy, it pays to be prepared!’

everyone lost their shit and i got second place

If you got second place who got first… Did they talk about fire safety and burn the stage down or something

ilikeyouandvodka:

The bags under my eyes aren’t even designer

matt-douchene:

do u ever do something mildly impolite like not give a nice goodbye or not hold a door and spend the rest of the day thinking about it

ilikeyouandvodka:

Gotta go my rides here

lill-ac:

maybe if you came and fell asleep next to me I wouldn’t be so sad

joshpeck:

maxiboym:

joshpeck:

i’m sad

What’s wrong, did you run over Oprah again?

image

eatpizzas:

me: just gettin some gum like

image

everyone:

image

bagmilk:

earthdad:

Kinda rly like a girl what do I do

image

bromar:

a bicycle is the acoustic version of a motorcycle 

why can’t hurricane names be culturally diverse

hurricane muhammad

hurricane shaniqua 

hurricane nguyen 


Anonymous: How do I heat up my pizza? I don't have a microwave right meow.

heart:

breakfastburritoe:

dropping out of school to become part of a chicken nugget cult

ohioisonfiire:

I’ve met some pricks in my time but you are the fucking cactus.

egberts:

driving is so dangerous ur literally controlling a giant metal contraption with a circle and some foot buttons